I’m a mom with two kids and I’m financially responsible to take care of my kids and eventually put them through college. For me, baggage is something that happens by age 45, but there are certain kinds of baggage that I can’t have in my life. I can’t date someone with a criminal history because of my job. I can’t date someone who uses drugs for the same reason, but also because I have kids and I don’t want my kids around that. I would not date someone in recovery, because I cannot risk that person falling off the wagon and dragging my kids through major drama. I won’t date someone who is financially unstable because I already have two people relying on me financially, and they come first in my financial priorities. I won’t date a former cheater. Been there, done that, have the postcards, and I can’t do it again. It’s a false dichotomy to choose between financially irresponsible and a former cheater, because neither of those things would be acceptable to me. I’d rather be alone than live with a person who can’t handle their money or who has a track record of cheating. I’ve experienced both of those things in my marriage, and…alone is a lot easier.

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