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I’m enjoying the hell out of the growing relationship with my guy, but he gets a huge kick out of the fact that we met because I simply wanted to get laid, and made it clear I was interested in him for that reason.

I made a conscious choice in my teens not to taint sex with transaction. I still don’t believe I’m the only one, but I’m willing to concede from your posts and my bf’s experiences that it is sadly more rare than I thought. My ex and I, who were together for almost 30 years, were children when we met, and he knew this about me (making that kind of commitment just in my head wouldn’t really have meant much). We came of age in the 70’s, and as idealistic kids, were marinated in both the strident feminists trying to make legitimate points about that unfair power balance, and the discomfort that, according to those same feminists, fixing it seemed to require making men smaller rather than raising women up. We both hated that. The marriage foundered on other rocks, but we probably stayed married a good 10 years longer than we should have, because the sex was fun. I’d like to believe that taking the underhanded potential out of the equation was part of that.